Disappointment is a feeling we are all bound to experience at some point, whether due to relationship issues, work or school, or just falling short of our own expectations. But how we express this feeling can sometimes snowball into more disappointment and tension. It can be a much more positive experience if we learn to express that uncomfortable feeling in a healthy way.
Learning to navigate that healthy expression in a less critical way is part of our healing. To be truly seen and heard, first we must practice our disappointment in an object way, staring a dialogue in a way that does not jeopardize the other person’s feeling of safety.
Being conscious of the words and tone of voice we use is important.
Here are some great ways to express your healthy disappointment by Dr. Nicole LePera (Registered Psychologist).
- I love you and I’m hurt about what happened
- I understand why you did that, and I hope you can understand why I feel uncomfortable
- I see why that situation was difficult for you, and I feel (Enter emotion) because of how it affected me
- I understand why you didn’t think this would be a big deal, but I need you to understand it feels that way for me in this moment
- This was not intentional, I get that, and it brings up a lot from my past